The 8th Nerve

After my dream, I went looking through an old box of letters. The only detail I remembered from the letter was when Grandpa described the types of dreams he had when he went into the Navy. Also, I was entirely certain that the letter was typewritten. When I found it, I discovered that it was a four page handwritten letter.

April 1996

Dear Sarah,

We loved your recent letter with your story, term paper, and dream. I was really impressed. Your writing is extraordinary. You express things so clearly, vividly, and easily. As I told Grandma, “her term paper is better than the ones I used to submit in graduate school.” Your writing skill coupled with your reading habits will make college a piece of cake. That’s my prediction. You have it in writing.

The part of your letter I keep thinking about is your dream. I felt privileged to get a peek into your subconscious and I liked what I saw. You asked what I thought, so here it is.

I think the dream is reflecting your concern as you approach a fork in the road of your life journey. You seem to be sorting through your past to illuminate the road ahead. Jung would probably say you are drawing on the wells of your personal and collective unconscious’ to gain some clues as to what the future might bring. A good title for your dream might be Back to the Future.

What I like about your dream is what it says about the way you are approaching your soon to be life away from home. I see no signs of panic nor fear or a desire to escape. You are calmly “researching a woman’s past” and trying on “clothes” from your memories to see what might best serve you in your future.

I think it shows your maturity when you dream of transition rather than of old things you don’t want to lose and/or new things you hesitate to begin. For surely, the treasures of your memories are you and they will be going to college with you. How great that you can uncover friends, relatives, and events that, like the green sweatshirt, may be “lumpy, stretched out and crooked– but important.” And much of their importance is that they will always be part of you wherever you go or whatever you do.

I remember when I made my break from home and family. I was seventeen and leaving for the Navy. My dreams were about getting lost in strange places. And they were filled with fear and foreboding. I wish I, like you, could have “stood on the long porch” and “seen myself” even though “awkwardly and with uneven face.”

And that’s what I liked best about your dream. It reveals that you can look at yourself. And because you can and do, you find much that you like. This must make transitions easier for you, knowing the important parts of you and knowing that they will define your future as they have your past.

Fortunately, your dream recalls good things and green things (new life). Your important things are positive and deeply rooted. You have been parented well and your roots will sustain you even in a new environment. Your dream must be reassuring to you. It is to me.

Even though you have demoted me to a tricycle, I do feel “young and laughing” when I think of you. You are a remarkable young woman with a bright future before you. You make a grandpa feel proud. Know that my love will always be “under your wings.”

Keep dreaming and fly high. I love you.

Grandpa

Interesting that it was this latest dream, and not Grandpa’s death, that prompted me to find the letter. Thank you, Grandpa, I’m so glad I have this letter from you.

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Feb 18th 2007Family