Endorphin euphoria is the way to go

Someone found this site by googling “anxious hypersensitive”. Awesome! Anxious and hypersensitive people of the world, unite!

Alias is our new favorite tv series to rent on DVD. We are partway through the first season and I am utterly hooked. Now, when my alarm goes off hours before the sun rises and I feel stress about my upcoming day, I can think to myself “At least you are not a graduate student and a double agent.” Because, my friends, that would be WAY more stressful.

I may have to re-think what I have said about liking the fact that I have lived in this area for nearly five years. The area is getting less and less anonymous as I run into people unexpectedly in stores or downtown more often. Yesterday I was in the grocery store, gathering six or seven containers of yogurt into my arms, when I heard someone greet me. I turned around, surprised and flustered, to return the greeting. Then I felt one of the yogurts move. “Uh oh,” I said, as the yogurt, in slow motion, fell over my arm and sailed through the air. The greeter (while his wife and daughter stopped and awkwardly watched) picked up the yogurt and it was dripping and we didn’t know what to do with it so we stuck it upside down on the shelf. I really cannot do with the unexpected social encounter. I blush and drop things. I forget the most basic, essential facts. If you ran into me at a store and asked me how old I was, I would honestly have to think about that for a while.

We had a very busy weekend. A weekend that is very fun but goes by way too fast, especially if you go out with friends (two of whom were celebrating birthdays) three nights in a row. On Saturday and Sunday afternoons I went nordic skiing across blinding white expanse under sunlight, with ancient blue hills in the near distance. The scenery was absolutely beautiful. There is something about these round mountains that is peaceful and kind. I felt protected by its benevolence and trusting, silent soul. They have been here forever. Positive energy filled me, and I felt capable and ready for anything. I realized how much it contrasted to my usually busy, stressed state of mind and knew I needed to remember this day.

The roller coaster ride continues this semester. Terror, then joy. To my relief, I am growing again. I have new confidence this time around and I can feel it. Just as long as you don’t bump into me in a grocery store.

1 Comment »

One Response to “Endorphin euphoria is the way to go”

  1. colten on 02 Feb 2005 at 2:20 pm #

    Hey Sarah! I found your journal looking for Jen Linck on google. Thanks for linking to me, tell Steve I said hi and you both should come visit. Ben lives in DC now just an hour north of here.