This is going to be the week of goodbyes. This is hard for me. I’d prefer to slip out the back door unnoticed if I could. I wrap up my job, clear out my desk by Friday. Then I go on vacation, then I start the new job I’ve always wanted.
I’ve never been one to have long term goals or concrete, specific dreams about career or money or family. I had vague goals- find love, get my degree, eventually be able to practice that degree. That’s it. I meandered my way through my 20s, really, when I look back on it. Five jobs and two internships. A wedding, two cats and one dog. Two apartments, a condo, and a house. This job I’m starting in a few weeks has always appealed to me, it really is the closest thing I’ve had to a specific dream for myself.
All of my vague goals have been met. For the first time, I’ve reached a place where I’ll likely to stick around for a number of years. All of my previous jobs were temporary steps, none of them what I wanted to do with my life long-term. I didn’t know specifically where I would move on, but I knew I would. So this is it! Funny, this tentative feeling, not quite daring to trust it. The fears that dangle and drop down when you achieve something you’ve always wanted is unexpected. All the same, I know this is where I want to be.
Maybe it is time to become more concrete. What else do I want to do with my life and when? What else would be fulfilling? Think big! Think impossible! You never know.
Image from www.nataliedee.com
Jul 30th 2007Introspection