The 8th Nerve

Steve and I celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary on Friday. He took me on a surprise trip to Moosilauke ravine lodge in New Hampshire, and Lucky came along with us. He got lots of bonus points for being calm and quiet in the car with only a few attempts to get into the front seat (Lucky, that is, not Steve). At Moosilauke it appeared to be us, a couple of older folks, and a crowd of Dartmouth engineering students who would periodically and gleefully run around outside without their shirts on and take pictures. It was quite COLD up there in the mountains.

I’m learning the amount of concentrated planning and effort that having a dog can bring into one’s life. As we hauled Lucky’s food and toys to the lodge and calculated how long we can leave him in the room versus bringing him with us and whether he can go with us and has he gone to the bathroom lately? and I said to Steve in exasperation at one point “This is like having a kid.” But wow, the number of people who greeted us and came up to Lucky with delight on their faces and engaged in conversation with us went up a hundredfold. Lucky is a chick magnet, we discovered.

The last time we went to Moosilauke was 8 years ago. It was a little surreal, how being there captured the journey we’ve taken in 8 years and the distance one travels from the euphoria of first falling in love to a deep lifetime bond. There was something about our first trip to Moosilauke that hinted at the future we would have.

Autumn light from the deck this evening:

Tree tops

Deep woods

Front yard

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Sep 24th 2006Pets & Pictures & Trips

“It’s not lightning, it’s Asians.”

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Sep 24th 2006I Laughed When

So after a couple days of debate, and even resorting to looking up Native American words for “had many homes”, we simply settled on “Lucky”. Not particularly original but it ends in the same sound as “Buddy” so may be less confusing, and essentially captures how this dog ended up in our home. Plus it will never fail to crack me up whenever we get to tell the story of “how Steve and Sarah got Lucky.”

Lucky LOVES this little rubber ducky. Fortunately he is quick to know what are dog toys and what are not dog toys, and it is extremely entertaining to watch him play with them. However, Lucky’s tendency to greet people like a cross between a tasmanian devil and a Mack truck, especially after he has been put on the runner… not so great. The poor dog has had at least 4 owners altogether in 7 months, so we can’t blame him. Most importantly though, we have yet to figure what his signals are for “I have to go outside and take a big dump.”

I have been consulting our “Well-mannered Dog” handbook.

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Sep 20th 2006Pets

Yesterday Steve and I spontaneously went up to the Humane Society “just to look” at the dogs they had and ended up rescuing a 7 month old golden retriever in the 11th hour. The Humane Society was full and could not take this dog in when the owner called. The Humane Society gave us the owner’s number and when we talked to him he told us that he was moving right at that moment and if we got to his house within the hour, he would give us the dog.

The owner was being forced to move and was going to be living in his vehicle and couldn’t take care of the dog. The situation sounded pretty sketchy. When we arrived and saw “Buddy” tied to a stake out front and met the owner, our suspicions were confirmed. When we asked the owner what he would do if we didn’t take Buddy right now, he responded casually “put him down probably.”

We took our chances and put Buddy in our truck. The whole situation felt incredibly wrong to me, but I was glad we were able to be there given the alternative. Despite how casually and carelessly he was given up, Buddy seemed healthy and well groomed and well fed. He was affectionate and playful despite being anxious and stressed in a new environment. He responded well to our cats. I took Buddy for a run that evening and when we went into a sprint across the fields, Buddy glancing up at me every few seconds as if to say “hey, doing good,” a big smile broke across my face.

The previous owner said he had never taken Buddy swimming (I asked him if he had). We took Buddy to the river today and that was one of the best sights I’ve ever seen. We let Buddy off his leash and he ran wildly and joyfully up and down the path. He tentatively went into the river and then began pawing the water and then it wasn’t long before he was splashing and chomping at the water like a 2 year old in the bathtub. He began to teach himself to swim.

In many ways Buddy seems to be a well-adjusted dog- he knows how to sit and shake hands, he can go running, he comes when called, he’s friendly. His brown eyes are kind and intelligent. His anxieties come up around separations and reunions- where he becomes agitated, jumping and nipping. So we have some training ahead of us and fortunately Steve and Buddy can keep each other company on the weekdays.

It’s a big, and occasionally overwhelming, adjustment to suddenly add a dog to our daily routine. However, we are seeing how this will give us an active life and those moments when I see Buddy run free are worth it to me. The biggest adjustment belongs to the cats. Casper has been pretty cool with it so far. He is willing to be in the same room.

Aschi, on the other hand, hasn’t come downstairs since yesterday and tried to sleep on my head all night. She hides under the bed most of the day and when she is not under the bed she has taken to calling upon the Dark Lord of the Sith for protection.

Will Aschi cross over to the dark side? Given this look on her face, we think she already has.

We don’t particularly care for the name “Buddy” and we’re trying to think of new name for his new life with us. Any suggestions?

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Sep 17th 2006Pets & Pictures

We can be sure of at least one national tragedy in our lifetimes that shatters our sense of normalcy and belief in what we thought was true. Collectively, we walk in a haze and catch glimpses of our real selves pouring out before we can get our defenses back in the aftermath. The bonds of community that happen during those moments before we ‘recover’ is incredible.

It sounds corny but I think the same holds true for the personal 9/11s in our lives. Despite the shock and hurt and reworking of what was once fundamental, the things that remain unshaken (yet surprisingly easily taken for granted in normalcy) shine through. The opportunities that our own 9/11s give us to be real with those we love strengthen our bonds and give us new appreciation of what it really means. Unfortunately it may also be that bonds can be permanently damaged or we fight troubling wars for the wrong reasons. 9/11s present us with choices and responses that change the ever after, for good or ill.

Even though my country didn’t pull together in the way that I had hoped in the years after 9/11, I believe that my family will in the face of our own 9/11. Ideally we will never completely and fully recover from how our 9/11s shook the foundation of our country or our family, so that we can always see our bonds shining through.

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Sep 11th 2006Introspection & Pictures

Besides coining the phrase “I have a sheep port, FYI,” Paul has shown us that roommate living is the way to go when it’s with the right person. Besides playing games with you and doing your dishes and mowing your lawn, roommates can, from a family systems perspective, more freely distribute physiological anxiety in a triangle instead of a dyad with the end result being that you feel less stressed about your job. Seriously.

I have been watching the US Open.

Andy, I’ve seen your ‘happy trail’ WAY too many times.

We’re off to Burlington for a night on the town.

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Sep 8th 2006Everyday life & Friends

Besides coining the phrase “That drink is for me, and the other drink is for me,” Paul has also introduced us to The Settlers of Catan . I rejected it on sight, mainly because of potential resemblance to Risk and its complicated looking hexagons, but then I got hooked. I spent all weekend anticipating another game. Afterall, any game where players ask each other in all seriousness for some wood has to have its merits.

Time to set up for another round.

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Sep 4th 2006Everyday life & Friends