The 8th Nerve

How does an oven KNOW to stop working on Thanksgiving? It’s a conspiracy I tell you.

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Nov 29th 2004I Peeved When

The majority of the weekend has been spent hard at work on a paper and presentation. On Bowen family systems theory in particular, which once more has made me rethink everything. A good theory will do that.

Pretty soon though, I should be able to relax like this.

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Nov 21st 2004Uncategorized

Steve: I wonder what you would call more than one Smurf? (pause) Smurves.

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Nov 21st 2004I Laughed When

I went for a late afternoon run up to the first of the hills, my camera on my back. Man my ears were cold.

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Nov 14th 2004Uncategorized

Steve: At that age they must grow so fast.

Me (hitting Steve): They’re not fat!

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Nov 14th 2004I Misheard When

It has come to our attention that our town is getting crazier and crazier. If you go to the end of this road and take a right, you enter a small rural village flanked by farmland (see picture above). My grandmother’s family lived here and my great grandfather visited his parish by horse and buggy. I can almost picture it still as I pass through the town. If you go to the end of the road and take a left, you enter the 7th circle of Conspicious Consumption. The one square mile contains several restaurants and more stores Wal mart and Starbucks-style than you know what to do with. There is a Bed Bath and Beyond and a Linen N’ Things, a Best Buy and a Circuit City all within sight of each other as if those stores are not carbon copies of each other. Every item you would possibly need to buy (need groceries, an electric guitar, a flag, and a cell phone? no problem!), every errand you could possibly need to run and every appointment you would need to make including BOTOX can be done here.

In the two and a half years that we’ve lived here, several stores, restaurants and businesses have sprung up in addition to a state of the art movie theatre. This square mile has become a mecca for half the state for whoever Needs to Buy Something or Have an Evening Out and doesn’t want to go through the traffic and parking rectum of Burlington. Burlington, I’m afraid, hath gone to the college students, and the streets doth flow with Magic Hat and Long Trail Ale.

Suddenly it is impossible to find a place to eat here without lines going out the door. We went to see The Incredibles and had to get tickets for the showing two hours later because the line was so long. So we killed time until then by checking out one of the new stores next door- the Christmas Tree Shop- which might have well been named “K-mart with Santas”, then we walked to Chili’s where they had an hour wait so we squeezed in at the bar, then we wandered over and had apple cider at Starbucks. Williston is positively booming. The exit for Williston off I 89 is becoming a serious road hazard because so many cars are on the exit ramp that the line is backed up along the highway itself.

We’ve lived here long enough to watch it happen. In many ways it’s nice to have both because we are straddling the line between country and the 7th circle of Conspicious Consumption. There’s stuff to do. However, now that it’s become the Alternative to Burlington, especially for families, it’s becoming insane. We talk more and more about moving to Montpelier or the Mad River Valley, even though that will be a few years off.

I’m nearing on the record for the longest I’ve ever lived in one area (five years). I like having friends who live here and having known them for longer than I’ve been in college. I like recognizing people in town. I like passing a restaurant and saying “Hey, that’s where the waitress gave Matt the finger” or “Remember when…”

Just as long as I can safely travel through the intersections toward home without having an SUV roll over on me, I’ll be ok.

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Nov 14th 2004Uncategorized

Playing Pictionary with Cedar and Jen is HILARIOUS. Whenever I’m feeling down and need cheering up, I want to have Cedar come over and draw me a frog.

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Nov 13th 2004I Laughed When

The day after our camping trip to Grand Isle, both of my eyes became alarmingly red. I took out my contacts and the red gradually went away after a few days. I tried a new pair of contacts (I’d probably been wearing the monthly extended wear ones for about six weeks anyway) and they immediately became red again. I wore my Tina Fey glasses for a week, then tried again. RED. At this point, I started researching online and completely freaked myself out. There are horrible, horrible eye diseases out there. I was convinced that at worse, I was going to go blind. At best, I would never be able to wear contacts again. I don’t mind wearing glasses sometimes but not ALL THE TIME.

I even started looking at laser surgery. For the first time, having someone cut and peel back part of my eye and beam a laser into my cornea while I’m staring intensely at designated focal point convinced that I will, against my own will, move my eye one hairline fracture to the right and BECOME BLIND, seemed like a viable option.

I saw the eye doctor and he asked if I have been using Complete contact lens solution, the kind that comes in a blue bottle and has a yellow symbol, which I had. Apparently a lot of people have been reacting to that solution and it makes them have evil devil eyes. Now I use Renu and everything is fine. And I take my contacts out at night more.

My moral of the story? Don’t be a flagrant contact lens abuser or you’ll deserve a good scare.

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Nov 13th 2004Uncategorized

There has been snow in the mountains for a week now, the ridges white against the sky. Snow has floated down in flurries these past two days. I wear a winter coat, hat and gloves outside. Yet I can proudly say that we HAVE NOT TURNED ON OUR HEAT YET. I like to see how long we can last before turning it on. When we’re wearing more than three layers and can see our breath in the air, that is probably when I will reluctantly concede defeat.

This morning I got my hair trimmed. Just go in, spritz, trim, pay $14, leave. That is one of my strongest values, besides not WASTING MONEY ON HEAT, is being low maintenance. No hair styling. No expensive jewelry. Clothes I always buy on sale or at second hand stores. The incongruence of living in a white walled condo in yuppie village is wearing on me. I can’t wait until I have a home someday that reflects me.

Living in a middle unit is very handy for heat insulation purposes though.

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Nov 11th 2004Uncategorized

I’m not up on the egg terminology if you know what I mean. The only one I know is “scrambled”. When we go to a diner, this is a typical conversation:

Waitress: How would you like your eggs?

Me: Oh god.

Waitress: You know… sunny side up, fried, runny, scrambled, daisy side down with a pig’s blanket….

Me: Uh… you know how the egg white part can be solidified and the egg yolk part is still round and sits in the middle? Can I have it like that?

Waitress: Do you want it runny?

Me: What?

Steve: You know, the yellow stuff, they break the yolk.

Me: No don’t break the yolk, but don’t have it all slimey in the center please.

*Waitress leaves*

Steve (reacting like he did when I asked for a donut menu at a Dunkin Donuts drive thru): Fried egg.

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Nov 8th 2004Uncategorized