dream
Steve was mad at me when he woke up yesterday morning because he dreamed that I gave Casper away to be made into cat popsicles.
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Sep 13th 2004I Laughed When
Archive for September, 2004
Don’t touch me with your fishy hands
Yesterday Steve and I went to check out a large nearby pond. Steve brought along his fishing pole with a little shiny lure on it, just to test it a little. When we arrived there were two guys along the shore hauling in a northern pike they caught on the first cast. We hiked a trail that went along the pond and discovered outcroppings of rock that is perfect for fishing from the shore. Steve cast out a couple times and then suddenly, boom, he had a fish. It was unreal. I didn’t think those lures ever actually worked. The pond appears to be a goldmine of fish.
The pike had partially swallowed the hook and Steve had to get it out. This was so distressing to me that I had to move down the path and look at something else. One of my father’s favorite stories is from when I was a little girl and he would bring home the fish he had caught (or the fish we had both caught when I went with him). He would be cutting the fish’s heads off and gutting their bellies and he’d hear a high little voice go “please don’t hurt me! ow…ow…. my head, oh please don’t cut it off!” He’d look down and there I would be, sympathizing with the fish.
Where else is a living thing subject to such a fate? To be impaled, brutally yanked out of one’s only natural breathing environment, then subject to a series of painful and bewildering circumstances before meeting one’s demise via beheading? Fishing is terrorism! happening right in our own lakes and ponds! That’s only half of it- those worms and minnows are also impaled and then cast out where they are helplessly pinned in murky waters before they are eaten alive!
I’m sure I’m attributing much more understanding than fish or bait are capable of to their circumstances.. Primarily I’m glad Steve has found a new hobby that he really enjoys and I support it.
Just be sure to wash those fishy hands.
Sep 12th 2004Uncategorized
On being human
The experience of beginning, of not knowing, and of going in and just doing in the moment is making for a harrowing roller coaster ride. In the greatest moments I feel full of excitement and joy, I am in my element and I am doing what I am meant to do. In the lowest moments, I am so vulnerable, feeling exposed as a sham and full of terrible doubt. There’s just so much to learn, mistakes to make and risks to take and I must do it all without taking it personally or ruminating.
Yet it IS one of the most personal, riskiest fields to go into for yourself and others who will count on you. I will continually be put to the test. There will be terrible mistakes made but also amazing connection. I will be exposed, tested, rejected, hated, validated, idealized, loved, and the mix of all that in no particular order.
Sometimes I wish I had just studied plants or something. Or bookbinding.
Thank god for supervision.
Sep 11th 2004Uncategorized
Casper has OCD
We think our cat has obsessive compulsive disorder. A couple of observations have led us to this conclusion.
1) Casper is pretty smart, for a cat. He can make connections between events and draw conclusions. When he is napping in the office and Steve puts his (computer) mouse into the charger, Casper is instantly up and ready to go. He knows Steve’s time at the computer is done and it is time to follow him to see what else he may do (maybe he’ll get something to drink! Maybe he’ll go to bed!). When he hears the noise of the laser pointer being picked up, he comes running. He knows it’s time to play Chase the Fascinating Little Red Dot.
Also, when Casper bats a toy (or something belonging to me that I haven’t been able to find for weeks) under some furniture, he knows it’s still under there. He runs over to check the other side, to see if he pushed it far enough to come out the other side. If he can’t retrieve it, he remembers that it is there. It takes human babies several months to make that kind of connection.
2) HOWEVER, no matter what we do to persuade him otherwise, Casper will not stop jumping up on tables, office printer, record player, etc. His kitty neurons just refuse to fire and fuse over this one. He knows it’s wrong and sometimes he makes a sad, nervous noise before he jumps up as if to say “I know I’m not supposed to jump up here but I just can’t HELP IT.”
Hence we conclude that Casper suffers from OCD. His most current OCD routine goes something like this-
Casper jumps up on the couch (the one on the RIGHT, NOT the one on the left) with a tattered mouseskin (remnants of a once furry three-dimensional toy mouse) in his mouth, and he shoves it behind the cushion with his paw. There is also a plastic wrapper from an ice cream container he put down there and it is SO MUCH FUN to play with.
Sometime later, Casper returns to the couch. He does not care if there are people sitting on the couch. He commences to kick and scrabble at the cushion, turning somersaults and writhing upside down in his attempt to get the mouseskin or plastic wrap back out. No matter how many times we throw him off, he comes back. That little mouseskin is consuming his mind.
Finally, Casper retrieves his toy (or someone, exasperated and muttering to themselves, retrieves it for him). Now it is time to play fetch! He brings his toy over to me and drops it. I throw it, he runs and gets it, often turning somersaults as he tackles it head on. He brings it back, I throw it, he brings it back…
He also plays with the toy on his own. He’ll drop it and casually walk past it, pretending not to see it. Then suddenly, he pounces! Nobody saw that coming! He’ll do this over and over again, before returning the toy to the couch.
I myself must have a disorder for writing so much about my cat. Just wait until I have a kid..
Sep 6th 2004Uncategorized
What are they thinking?
I received the J Crew catalogue in the mail the other day (like I’ll be buying their overpriced clothes any time soon) and it has the most bizarre cover.
I am trying to figure how this came about. There must have been a marketing meeting of some sort.
Presenter: So I propose that we drape several of our latest style pants over a horse’s rear end!
Group: *nodding and murmurs of assent*
Co-worker: Ah, but what about the horse’s uh… privates? Wouldn’t that show in the picture?
Presenter: Not to worry, we will pull down a pair of brown pants a lot lower than the others. That’ll cover that right up, no one will notice.
Co-worker: Brilliant!
Since his big catch a few weeks ago Steve has taken to fishing like, well, a fish to water. He ordered a new fishing pole and we scoped out the lake a few miles down the road. Steve was checking into where he can get live bait and you will never believe how people get their bait around here. There is a vending machine. At Wal-mart. It dispenses live minnows, worms and crawfish. I swear I am not making this up. You can get six minnows for two dollars.
Happily, it is a three day weekend.
Sep 4th 2004Uncategorized
Big Three
Today was the big three together- work, internship and class. I should be in bed about an hour ago, but I still need to eat dinner. Luckily tomorrow is just work and class and I have the bulk of the daytime free. I’ll finally be able to go running this week!
I already feel more comfortable at my internship than any place I’ve ever been (even with the nervousness about seeing clients for the first time). A big part has to do with the environment there but it is also a sign of my own growth in myself. I am so excited about this, but also worry of running myself ragged juggling all of this. I want to be at optimum energy to take full advantage of this opportunity. Getting up for work at 4am takes a big portion of energy before I even get to my other sites.
I would be ashamed to tell you how long a huge pile of clean and very wrinkled laundry has been lying in a heap on the floor since I removed multiple loads from the dryer.
Over a week. That’s how long it’s been lying there. Loincloths and all.
Sep 1st 2004Uncategorized