robert
robert said “I don’t want to inhibit your fun-having.”
“what?” I replied, “you don’t want to inhibit my fun cavity?”
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Jan 31st 2004I Misheard When
Archive for January, 2004
spooning
we caught our two cats spooning. they quickly pretended they weren’t, but it was too late.
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Jan 29th 2004I Laughed When
Silkies bastards
I totally got suckered. I got an ad in the mail saying that I could get a free pair of Silkies pantyhose. Normally I ignore that stuff but I was in need of pantyhose, so I checked the box and sent it back (no postage necessary). A few days later I received a nice pair of taupe pantyhose, which goes quite well with my knee high boots. Then, a couple weeks later I received a whole batch of pantyhose and trouser socks. I thought it was odd but didn’t even question it. In my naivete and consumer innocence, I decided that Silkies was quite generous and almost desperate in their need for loyal consumers. Giving away pantyhose like that! Ah well, I could use more pantyhose.
Then, I get a bill in the mail from Silkies for $13.95. Somehow, by agreeing to receive a free pair of pantyhose (what fine print?) I had signed up for monthly shipments of pantyhose. You can kiss my good faith in the generosity of Silkies goodbye. I wrote CANCEL all over my statement on the front and back in big letters and highlighted it. They tricked me but I paid them the $13.95. I entered the payment in our Quicken checking account on the computer and effectively rid myself of my annoyance by naming the payee “Frickin Silkies Bastards” and set up a new category for the transaction, calling it “Tricksy! False!”. It fits in nicely between “Travel” and “Tuition” on our alphabetical list of expenses.
Jan 29th 2004Uncategorized
Fighting anxiety
Life has been more social lately, between our reclusive Northeast Kingdom friends being in town more frequently these days and a big group outing to dinner and watching a boxing tournament downtown over the weekend. My brother Nate is up for the week, which is very cool. He is perhaps the sweetest person I know. Sweet yet painfully anxious, which I find myself identifying with so acutely. A Chatterton trait that runs in the family, it seems.
It took me a long time and so not until recently did I recognize my own anxiety. I was shocked really to realize that I could go so far as to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Most of my life, I had a different perspective on it and used different words and excuses for it. I don’t exhibit any physical symptoms such as sweating palms or trembling, and always I am smiling, so I never put two and two together to realize that I am, to quote someone who recognized it before I did, “very…very… very anxious”. And like my mother, I hide it well. With this recognition comes increasing awareness of my anxiety every time it pops up- this painful, restless, severely critical uncomfortable-ness with myself. The ability to “relax” or “just be yourself” seem impossible to me in many situations. I’m learning and working on it. I have to figure out who “myself” is.
It is better to be yourself and have people not like you, than to avoid them or shape yourself to be what they want you to be, so that they do not know you at all.
Jan 28th 2004Uncategorized
kerry
kerry made a point of being emotional during an interview on tv. ugh, what a politician.
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Jan 28th 2004I Peeved When
ludicrous shoes
when a teenager wearing one of those shoes with a three inch thick sole nearly slipped on the slush outside the post office.
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Jan 25th 2004I Laughed When
Culture in Wales
My office window overlooks part of the Cherry St bus stop in downtown Burlington. The familiar sounds of the bus pulling up and people getting on and off takes me back to the six months I spent in Wales. I used buses constantly in Wales for transportation from the student village to the university and to downtown as well as the cliffs and the coast. Seems so long ago and hard to believe that I spent half a year in another country.
The Welsh were the original inhabitants of the British Isles, until Anglo-Saxon invaders overran the island and pushed them into the furthest southwest corner, now known as Wales. The Welsh fought for centuries to regain the land they lost, then to protect the land they still had left. Today they are fiercely protective of their small, beautiful country and their culture. Always, the tall shadow of England threatens their history and way of life.
This was a new experience for me, to see a culture threatened and thereby made conscious and under constant evaluation. As an American, whose culture is so prevalent, I was entirely unconscious to what exactly my culture consisted of (McDonalds!) and how it defined me. It just was. In Wales, however, a fierce battle wages to preserve their language and identity. Always, a comparison and scrutiny with and against England. When a culture is infiltrated or impacted (not to mention discriminated against) by another and thereby must be defended and preserved, how does this impact the natural evolution of culture? If a culture is enshrined and preserved is it still a culture? It makes me wonder if culture can lose its flow and become stagnant- rituals performed over and over so they are not lost. Where does one go from there? Psychological archeology is embedded in the minds and hearts of the people who steel themselves against being overcome. They must consciously choose it in the language they speak, the clothing they wear, the values they believe in. Somehow it strikes me as sad, as having to be defensive and not being able to just be. In a situation like that though, it must be done to preserve the heritage and foundation of life.
Jan 23rd 2004Uncategorized
coffee
i paid $3 for a starbucks coffee. what else could I do? despair?
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Jan 23rd 2004I Laughed When
candy
i got a musketeers candy bar from the vending machine at work and on the way back to my desk every single co-worker I passed was staring at my candy bar. yes! that’s right! i’m having some frickin candy!
Jan 22nd 2004I Peeved When