The 8th Nerve

Well, I came home from work and I was ravenous because all I could eat for lunch was a yogurt and two cups of applesauce. The blender was on the dishrack from yesterday, the various pieces drying. I put all the different pieces together and then poured in vanilla yogurt, milk, two bananas, and scoops of coffee ice cream. Then, feeling pleased myself and my concoction, I turned it on. The blender went to work.

Then it burped.

As I watched, my concoction started to leak out the bottom of the blender and all over the counter! So I lifted the blender part off from the base (after turning it off, thankfully) and the rest of my shake flowed out over the counter like lava. Not my intention.

Apparently, I did not put the pieces together right. Or I forgot a piece that’s hiding under a bowl on the dish rack. I think I pulverized the blender.

And, because I have Chatterton blood in me, I could not let this go to waste. Using a spatula, I scraped and scooped most of the partially blended shake off the counter and into a cup. And I’m drinking it.

Blondie does it again!

Time to go run 11 miles..

Day #151/#39- I ran an 11 mile loop that took me past endless green fields and blue mountains. The temperature was perfect for running and I kept up the pace. Will I really run 26.2 miles in just over a month?

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Aug 28th 2003Uncategorized

Warning! This entry is not for the faint of heart or queasy of stomach!

Today I went and got two teeth yanked out of my head. Two teeth that were there for a reason and had a purpose to serve for most of my life, but nevertheless, had to go. Beforehand, as I sat in the chair and felt my palms get clammier and clammier, the surgeon informed me that each tooth had 50% chance of having two roots and if they had two roots there was a chance a root would break off and they might have to go in surgically and retrieve it. The way he worded it made it sound like there was a 50% chance of the root breaking off and remaining lodged like a splinter in my gum. Then, to help matters, they handed me a list of every conceivable thing that could go wrong to read over and initial. I know they want to avoid being sued and whatnot but it sure doesn’t help one’s frame of mind. I signed the list and two seconds later they were back with needles you could lift weights with. Four shots later I was completely numb. Even my nose was numb, except for the very tip, which felt cold. Then, and this is amazing, the surgeon proceeded to make $210.00 in a period of 30 seconds as he popped the teeth out.

Then, numb, bleeding and drooling from the mouth while clamping down on two giant wads of bandages, I proceeded to go back to work. I thought this would be fine, but then I realized I couldn’t talk and I was feeling a tad woozy from Advil and having nothing to eat all day. So I went home an hour early, took a nap. Running didn’t happen today either and I hope to get the 11 miles in tomorrow. Steve made peanut butter banana shakes, which is about all I can subsist on at this point.

Then next week I’ll get the rest of the braces on and these babies can start moving back and fix my bite. The question I have for you though, is, why do humans grow more teeth than they’re supposed to and why do they come in (for most of us) so terribly crooked and wrong? No one else in the animal kingdom has this problem. Imagine if we did not have dentistry or cosmetics or shampoo. We’d still all look like neanderthals!

Time to go take advantage of my last week before school that I can spend vegging in front of the TV or reading whatever I want…

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Aug 27th 2003Uncategorized

I dreamed that I was driving along rural, wintry roads in Canada. I was excited, intrigued- full of a feeling of being in another country. I didn’t fear language or culture barriers and I had a sense of exploration and adventure. The landscape was wintry however and at times I was having difficulty driving and I was afraid. Although I’m sure the dream was not literally about Canada in any way, I think it would be fun to someday take a road trip and explore this unknown, quiet country that is just an hour’s drive away.

Maybe the dream stems from an idea I was reading about- that the whole of our lives, for each of us, is lived out in exile in a far off country. We are born into exile. The purpose of our life, then, is a spiritual journey of return. I resonate with that even though it seems to imply further that there is life after death, that there is something or someone waiting for us in a place we’ve been before or belong to far more than Earth. Regardless, how does one begin a journey and how do they know they’re going in the right direction? How does one go beyond simply yearning or believing to actually growing towards something greater than themselves?

Day #149/#41- Ran the five miler to the blue house and back. I admit, I am experiencing a bit of trepidation at the thought of trying to continue running while taking 3 classes and a lab, some of which will keep me at school until 10 at night, starting next week. I barely have the energy now after a full day of work. Tomorrow it’s 11 miles. Steve is still having back trouble and hasn’t been able to run since Crystal Lake. Biking is easier for him and he’s trying that in hopes that it will help his back.

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Aug 26th 2003Uncategorized

Today is sunny, windy and wild. I feel- in the twinge of the air and in the altered angle of the sun- summer coming to an end. Fall peers around the corner, poised to hurl- like dodgeballs- work, classes, and 13 to 18 mile runs.

But for now I relax and recuperate from several busy weekends in a row and try to get our place cleaned up and go to the grocery store. I might even start up cooking again.

I was fitted with braces yesterday, the horrible torturous contraption that they are. My teeth ache, the insides of my cheeks are sore. It is awkward and it hurts to eat. I walk around with the self-conscious feeling equivalent to having received a very, very bad haircut. I hope it’s all worth it. I’ll get used to them, I’m sure.

Last night we went out to Breakwaters and to RiRas with Matt, Michael, Jason. Tonight I hope to go on some very high, fast, upside down rides at the Champlain Valley Fair.

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Aug 23rd 2003Uncategorized

We had a wonderful 4-day weekend at the cabin on Crystal Lake. On Friday night, as Steve and I drove down, I basked in the luxury of having 3 full days and nights to spend there. In a blink of an eye, it seemed, I was driving back to Vermont with the lingering ache of leaving the place behind. My family has rented that cabin every summer since I was six years old. I’ve moved several times in my life but the one place that has always remained constant is the red cabin on the shore of a small quiet lake. I’ve always found my way back. Strange, that a place with pictures of another family on the walls and a whole other history unknown to us has come to be our home, our history created at yearly intervals. In the beginning, my father’s family rented the cabin when my Dad was 10 years old and my grandfather, weakened by cancer, took him fishing. Not long after, he died. But my father always comes back to go fishing.

At the end of the summer, they’re tearing the place down into pieces. The cabin has been sold to another part of the family and they are going to build a new place. A bigger, better place, I’m sure, but still it hits us all hard.

We had long talks on the porch, we played card and board games, we swam, read on the dock, had s’mores in the fireplace. We hiked Vroman’s Nose and attended, finally after 19 years, the Huntersland volunteer fire department chicken BBQ. A trip to town to play tennis and a stop at Stewart’s after. Nate and I paddled around the lake in the paddleboat and I realized that he is growing up. We discovered that a litter of four hungry kittensare living under the cabin. (My favorite was the pure white one with two gray stripes down its forehead). Steve and Nate had a great big water gun fight. Dad and Steve fished in evenings and early mornings but the fish remained elusive in the depths. It was chilly and cool on the porch and warm out on the water. The cabin was the cabin, with the furniture, dishes and blankets, wood and stone, that we’ve always known.

Day #138/#52- 12 miles.. this was a biggie, physically and mentally. Steve and I charted a route in the hilly region around Crystal Lake. As we headed out, the skies were rumbling with thunder. The drenching downpour came at around mile five. The energy surge came at mile seven, just in time because soon after I was faced with the hill of hills, a steep incline that went up for at least a quarter of a mile. And it wasn’t bad, not bad at all. Then a strange thing happened- my lungs and mind felt good and I was ready to hightail the remaining miles. However, when I ordered my legs to do so and put it into motion, absolutely nothing happened. I kept plodding along, and it was physically impossible to do anything about it. I had reached the very end of my limits.

Now it’s time to push it further.

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Aug 21st 2003Uncategorized

I wish we were having a power outage here in Vermont. I’ve always found events like severe thunderstorms and power outages fun. An opportunity to light candles, find a good book or perhaps a notebook and be inspired to write by the flickering light. Probably would get a call from my boss saying that we don’t have to go to work tomorrow..

Man that blackout is something else though, spanning several states and two countries. I’m sure it is a nightmare for a lot of people, particularly those who have investments and livelihood in such things as, for example, meat. Or ice cream.

It has been a busy week work-wise, then places to go after work, and then squeezing in runs that are becoming increasingly lengthy and time-consuming. I’ve been gone several weekends in a row and tomorrow we’re heading out again- to see my family at Crystal Lake for a 4 day weekend (I gave them a call and they still have power). I can’t wait. However, it means that I have a load of laundry the size of Mount Everest heaped on our hallway floor. We haven’t had a chance to clean or straighten up or anything for quite a while. Not necessarily a bad thing.

A major re-evaluation of our lives is at hand. We are at a metaphorical crossroads, with change, excitement, fear in the air and the unknown closing in. I am gleeful. Steve has a new smile in his voice. Yet, from a crossroads of my own, steeped in dreams, I look back. I am tearful. In some ways, at points that fade away toward the horizon, I could have been better. In other ways, the pain is too big and close for actions so subtle and indifferent. Time to let it go, for good.

I am being melodramatic, I have perplexed my readers. Despite lack of a power outage-like atmosphere, I seemed to have achieved its mood. Time for long introspective talks with the fam on the front porch of the cabin, overlooking the water.

Day #135-136/#55-54- I’m finding that starting out slow for the first half of the longer 8-10 mile runs is the way to go. If I start nice and easy, at about the half way point, a natural surge of energy occurs, which cannot be ignored. My stride lengthens, I pick up speed and I’m feeling good and finish strong. This is the strategy for a race or marathon- much better than starting out fast, becoming winded, and spending the rest of the time trying to keep your pace (while people pass you). Yesterday the 8 mile run was fun and painless this way. Today, however, at the half way point of the 6 mile run I suffered muscle cramping (my diaphragm again) instead of the energy surge. I’m never drinking enough water, I feel on the verge of dehydration all the time.

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Aug 14th 2003Uncategorized

This past weekend we took the annual trip down to Woods Hole with Eric. The trip was shorter than expected and we were at the hootchie mama cross dressing party by midnight. I must say, guys in dresses are simply a very unattractive sight. Steve though managed to look like a Spartan in his dress, so it wasn’t all bad.

Steve and I were standing around at the party and Steve said he thought that the guy standing across the way with his back to us was someone we knew from Hamilton, but we couldn’t be sure in the dim light. So we kept debating it for several minutes. Then he turned around and “Hamilton” was written right across his shirt. That pretty much answered the question. We updated each other on the latest with ourselves and with mutual alum friends.

Then Steve, Eric, Paul, Catherine and I all went and jumped in the ocean and got back to Catherine’s house around 5 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed five hours later and got ready to go run 10 miles in humidity unlike any I’ve ever known. I took it easy the first half and then picked up the pace through narrow wooded roads and along the sea. I kind of fizzed out at the end when I found myself running through town, dodging tourists as I tried to figure out where the 10 mile marker was. We finally all found each other and I’m sure I got 10 miles out of it.

We met up with Curtis for some dinner at Captain Kidd’s and some ice cream in town. We bought some Harry Potter jelly beans and this is Curtis sampling either a sardine or vomit flavored jelly bean, I’m not sure.

We were all exhausted and trooped back to Catherine’s after that. The next morning we were up early to go stake out by mile #2 for the Falmouth Road Race. The race is dominated by Kenyans who run 4 minute miles for the entire 7.1 mile race. They burned by us at the 2 mile mark within 8 minutes, and then a while later a sea of people ran by us. After a half hour (when the Kenyans had already finished the race) there was still a never ending barrage of people at the 2 mile mark, some of them in costumes.

Steve and I walked about Woods Hole and then returned to Catherine’s for some fun in the pool, then traveled back home. All in all a fun weekend.

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Aug 12th 2003Uncategorized

I overcame my initial resistance to the concept of running 7 miles tonight, I got all dressed in my running clothes, snapped on my water bottle belt, took a step outside and the skies opened up.

I decided to wait a little bit longer.

On a further note, I am fairly clueless when it comes to politics but I am quite psyched about this
and this.

Vermont pride, baby.

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Aug 6th 2003Uncategorized

*CRACK*!

Someone has just hit you over the head with a two by four. It happens so suddenly you don’t feel any pain. You just promptly go down and spend a hazy unknown amount of time in utter relaxed oblivion.

Then you wake up. Ow. Grimacing, you hold your head as you shield your eyes against the glare of the light and people crowding anxiously around you. Everyone is talking at you, asking questions and offering suggestions. Each movement brings a fresh wave of pain throughout, and your mind is finding it difficult to let go of the worry-free oblivion.

“Where am I?” you mumble. “What’s happened?” You rub at your bleary eyes. “What’s going on?”

That, my friend, is what it is like to go back to work after a vacation.

Day #126/#64- A five mile run accompanied by gut wrenching cramps. Really must drink water more.

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Aug 4th 2003Uncategorized

Yesterday was the annual birthday ride. This is the fourth time I’ve gone, but still have yet to actually do any pedaling. Billie and I ride around in the station wagon and stop at various points so that the riders can refuel on Powerbars and Gatorade. The bikers do a 68 mile loop. Beginning in Island Pond, they head north until about 2 feet of Canada, then head east until they are within sight of New Hampshire, then south and then west back to Island Pond. A bunch of them, including Steve, go on to do 30 or more miles from there. Then everyone heads back to the Maas house for swimming and pizza. Next year, perhaps, I will bike..

Day #124/#66- I ran 10 miles (10!) along part of the bike ride loop. I started in Canaan and ran south along the NH/VT border. Billie picked me up at the 10 mile marker. It took me exactly an hour and a half. The first half of the run I was aching, feeling the effects of a week full of late nights and dehydration, but by the fifth mile my pace started to pick up and I was feeling good. The roadside had Budweiser cans lying on the ground every 20 feet or so. The view beyond the roadside, however, was amazing with rolling hills, pastures, and the jagged, spindly ridges of northern forests.

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Aug 3rd 2003Uncategorized