I married Steve for his many wonderful qualities and I figured I probably knew them all. One of the unexpected things is discovering other wonderful qualities that I hadn’t noticed or known before, as well as facts like I can stick out my tongue further but he can bend his fingers back further. Those kinds of things take at least seven years to learn. The latest is that he is the most comforting presence I could ask for during mourning and the funeral. Thanks to all of you for your condolences as well.
After that rainy weekend in Maine, we came back home and it rained and rained and it is still raining now. Casper keeps insisting on going outside and then coming back in, then gets so stir crazy he goes back outside, and then he comes back in and this goes on for some time and the end usually involves either drying him off with a towel or yelling at him to stop climbing on the computer.
I love this kind of weather, but at the same time I was hoping for one day of good weather so I could go hiking during the fall peak. No such luck though, and the leaves are falling and the river is becoming more clearly seen through the trees. This doesn’t stop the tourists from coming up and standing around by the side of the roads taking pictures of the rain, not to mention making driving to Maine via the White Mountains a torturous 45-mile-an-hour affair. However, with all the time indoors I did finally finish the first coat of paint in the kitchen.
We went out last night with our neighbors up the road and made new friends. We saw a ridiculous and awful movie- The Fog- with Tom Welling in LL Bean turtleneck sweaters and a lot of low lying cloud cover.
I have been lacking in energy of late and it has been a learning experience. I think creativity is one of the important ways to process and unlock your own energy- instead of being dependent on external structure and feedback like work and school (as well as filling free time with housework, distractions and plans) to drive your energy. Many people keep their lives busy so that they avoid this state and a whole life can be spent this way. Our culture in particular encourages this way of living. I have an unusual block of time and an unusual opportunity. I want to process in new creative ways, in order to get a handle on self-criticism, blocked feelings, and blocked energy. It is only at times like this that they become most apparent, the unresolved pieces that lie beneath a busy or structured life.